Die Each Moment

glimpses of lives I lead

TAIWAN COFFEE AND ALICIA KEYS

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   I spent the last three or four hours staring blankly, feeling the gloom consume me. I had hoped to get moving and finish my weekend tasks asap but there I was feeling heavy, trying to figure out why the hell I’m feeling sad and resentful for the umpteenth time.What triggered this exactly and so on.

Well, of course I know why. I guess what I actually wanna know is if I should really be feeling that way and what’s the right best thing to do about it. 

But thinking and thinking and feeling and feeling didn’t get me anywhere.  

At some point however,I arrived at the basic truth that no one really knows my pain as much as I don’t know theirs. That popular quote saying ” No one has ever loved anyone the way anyone wants to be loved. “  flashed its message to me. 

My feelings of guilt and isolation began to dissolve. I  started to realize (yet again) that no matter what or how much I do, people will never completely understand me and do or say what exactly I want them to. Just like I can never do that for them. I shouldn’t be torturing myself with questions such as:”Should I feel this? Is this right?”

My feelings are valid. Just as what they may be feeling —and doing on the account of those feelings are entitled to them.

I stood up from the table leaving my plate of just eaten omurice. I was having lunch at a Korean-Japanese fastfood while turning things around in my mind.

I got one of my tasks done then stopped by a milk tea shop and grabbed my first Taiwan coffee.

Sipping the drink, I heard an Alicia Keys song from somewhere in my head. It has a slightly different lyrics though.

"…And it feels like oooohh..oooooooh…you don’t know my pain…

 uhh. my silly humor.

Have you heard that song?

itsanemptycore:

I have conquered yet another mess as I moved back to my room. hmmm. Feels good. I initially planned to put it off til tomorrow. But I just couldn’t sleep like that. I hope this get-it-done-a.s.a.p. momentum would last til tomorrow. 

itsanemptycore:

I have conquered yet another mess as I moved back to my room. hmmm. Feels good. I initially planned to put it off til tomorrow. But I just couldn’t sleep like that. I hope this get-it-done-a.s.a.p. momentum would last til tomorrow. 

                                            PICTURE SALAD

Some scary stuff I made last Halloween. / My last breakfast for 2012, custard and hot chocolate. / An edited photo of fireworks we had at my grandma’s place./  Me taking a picture of the Scream mask on the mirror. / Popcorn trophies for the MTV Awards themed Christmas party at work. / A shot of me at my boyfriend’s annual family reunion.

The Year Of Books

So I have been reading the whole 2012. What a literary ride indeed! 

I promised myself I would make a *list of all the books I’ve read this year. 

Here they are.

*South Of The Border, West Of The Sun , Haruki Murakami

*The Dive From Clausen’s Pier , Ann Packer

 The Pilot’s Wife , Anita Shreve

The Theory Of Clouds , Stephane Audeguy

Strange As This Weather Has Been , Anne Pancake

Drop Edge of Yonder , Rudolph Wurlitzer

My Antonia , Willa Cather

Lighthousekeping , Jeanette Winterson

Memories Of My Melancholy Whores , Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Breakfast At Tiffany’s , Truman Capote

Starting Out In The Evening , Brian Morton

Hard Boiled Wonderland And The End Of The World , Haruki Murakami

Practising The Power Of Now ,  Eckhart Tolle

The Lemur , Benjamin Black

Gone For Good , Harlan Coben

Rich Dad , Poor Dad , Robert Kiyosaki

Think Like A Champion , Donald Trump

The Twits ,  Roald Dahl

A New Earth , Eckhart Tolle

Man In The Dark , Paul Auster

The Lying Tongue , Andrew Wilson

Sputnik Sweetheart , Haruki Murakami

The Secret Life Of Bees , Sue Monk Kidd

A Case Of Need , Michael Crichton

After The Quake , Haruki Murakami

Memoirs Of A Geisha , Arthur Golden 

Looking For Alaska , John Green 

Norwegian Wood , Haruki Murakami

The BFG , Roald Dahl 

A Night Without Armor , Jewel 

An Abundance Of Katherines , John Green

Vampire Hunter D Volume 6 , Hideyuki Kikuchi

The Road Less Travelled , Scott Peck - This one I’m still reading at the moment.

I hope I didn’t forget anything! HAHA. 

I excluded those I didn’t actually finish or read from cover to cover. 

*Not in chronological order

*I read South Of The Border July of 2011 

*I read Dive From Clausen’s Pier in October of 2011. I decided to include these books since they marked the start of my regular reading.   

I’ll surround myself with books again in 2013. For sure!

Happy New Year!